


Thin Walls

by Karthur



Category: Tales of Graces
Genre: F/M, Humor, Meta, awkward moments, this is the worst thing ever
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-17
Updated: 2014-07-17
Packaged: 2018-02-09 07:06:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1973487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Karthur/pseuds/Karthur
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hubert and Pascal are not a couple you ever want to travel with--EVER.<br/>Asbel and Cheria learn this the hard way. </p><p>After this fic, they'll only be able to explain what they heard in a therapist's office using dolls...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thin Walls

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kasenrin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kasenrin/gifts).



> Not safe for human consumption.  
> Includes a small bit of Meta, referencing “The Secret Life of Hubert Oswell”  
> Hubert shatters the fourth wall, again.  
> Author shatters the fourth wall.
> 
> TL;DR: Don't take this seriously. It's the worst thing ever.

Cheria regretted many things, but none so much at this moment as this vacation. Perhaps vacation was the wrong word, because while she had envisioned quiet days lounging on the beach with her fiancé, that reality was the farthest from the truth. Asbel had, in his adorable, yet eternal cluelessness, decided to invite company.

Company, that on any given day, were the most polar opposite couple in the world.  
Company, that on a good day, managed not to good-naturedly argue about minutiae involving the latest issue of a certain comic book.  
Company, that was Hubert and Pascal.

After a long first day of trying to keep up with Pascal’s adventuresome spirit, Cheria curled herself against Asbel, hoping for a little passionate attention followed by a good night’s sleep.

But damn, if the walls weren’t just too thin.

At first, it started with a song.  
It was a very, off-key, allegro tune, sung in an ear-splitting soprano voice. The horrid song was followed by, _“See? I totally promised a lap dance to the Sun Screen Rangers theme! Y’like?”_

_“Very much so.”_

_“Y’okay! Then you’re gonna love what comes next!”_

Asbel rolled over and laughed. “Those two are…loud.”

“I think,” Cheria said with a blush on her cheeks. “This is just the beginning.”

“Huh?”

She sighed. He was so terribly, horribly, naïve about certain things. “Asbel. You do realize what’s going on over there, right?”

And then, Pascal’s voice carried through the wall once again. _“I am the Siren Queen! You have been trouble for me for days, Ranger Black! You will pay the price!”_

Asbel shrugged. “They’re playing with those ridiculous comic book action figures he likes.”

“Unbelievable!”

“Huh?”

“Really? That’s what you think they’re playing with?”

“What else would it be?”

Cheria rolled over and pulled the pillow over her head. It kept her from resisting the urge to smack some sense into Asbel with it.

 _“Why must I be Ranger Black?”_ that was Hubert.

_“Because I like him.”_

_“I like Red better.”_

_“Red is a girl.”_

_“No, he’s not.”_

_“I thought you said before—“_

_“What happened in another story needs to stay in another story right now.”_

_“Righto!”_ And then, back in character, the Siren Queen spoke. _“I will take away your seafood! I will destroy your Spear of Destiny unless you can defeat me!”_

_“You will never defeat me! I will dominate you!”_

_“Yeah, y’know, I don’t even know why I wear this costume. I should just like throw it on the floor cuz that’s where it’s gonna end up.”_

_“But I must peel back the layers of your evil, Siren Queen!”_

_“Ya think that’s hiding under this dress? I got better stuff than evil under this dress, Hu!”_

Cheria banged on the wall, but the headboard on the other side just banged back. “Asbel! Do you understand what’s going on now?”

“I’m honestly trying not to think about it. I mean, if my brother and his wacky girlfriend want to play with starfish dolls—“

“Asbel,” she interrupted before smacking the wall again. “That is absolutely not what they are doing.”

The dialogue in the other room was quickly replaced by giggles, pants, and moans that Cheria could only describe as things she did not ever want to hear from either Hubert or Pascal again.

“Oh!” Asbel said, his face flushed as the sounds grew louder, and more disturbing.

“Really? It took you think long to figure that out!”

Covering his hand with his face, he peeked at her through his fingers. “Look, there are things that I expect and things that I don’t expect. That definitely falls into the category of don’t expect. I mean, it sounds—“

“Like they’re having fun,” she interrupted with shy smile. Best to try and give this a positive spin, because damn, she doubted she’d be able to look at either of her friends in the eye in the morning. “Maybe too much fun.”

Asbel kissed her forehead. “I guess that’s one way to look at it. Another is just that they’re just crazy.”

“ I’ll go with that, too. I just wish we weren’t right next door,” she said.

_“Fiiiiggghhhttt Harrrdeeeer! Raaaaangeeeer Blaaaaaaaack!”_

“I wish we weren’t on the same planet right now,” Asbel answered, pulling the blanket over their heads in an effort to block out the thoughts of what was really going on in the adjacent room. It had to be close to being over, he figured. Maybe?

Fortunately, all that came next (and not just figuratively speaking, of course) was the battle cry from Ranger Black himself: _“Foooorrr Greeeaaat Justiiiice…”_

Asbel looked at Cheria, horror in his eyes as he visibly shuddered at the thought of that. “I’m getting us a new room in the morning. One far, far, away from those two.”

“Perfect,” she said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

And then, as if things couldn’t get any stranger, there was one last thing heard from behind the wall. _“Awesome. Just totally awesome! But next time, you’re wearing the Siren Queen costume, though. You’re totally hot as a girl.”_


End file.
